It may come as a surprise, but I wasn't one of those girls who grew up dreaming of motherhood.
I have women in my life who have since childhood sensed their entire calling was to be a mom... a great mom. I think that's completely noble and beautiful. For me, I always figured if my life didn't end up including kids of my own, it would still be a very fulfilling one. And while that may have been true, I can no longer imagine my life without the two beautiful girls that occupy such a large space in my heart.
Daughter. Mother. Friend. Wife. Sister. Mother. Musician. Teacher. Mother.
I was going to say that being a mother doesn't define me... but how can I say that about something that is one of the threads woven through all of my days -- from sun-up to sun-down -- not to mention my nights?! (Less so these days... phew!) Many experiences in life can offer joy, pain, adventure, challenge, possibility, inspiration, moments that make the heart stop and others that pump it with adrenaline. But motherhood.... motherhood has been a deeper collective experience of life than any other adventure I've been on. It has revealed my true character -- including moments where I come out shining and moments I'd rather not be captured on video. It has been humbling, growing and invigorating. It has brought more than expected 'aha' moments and insights into my life with other people and my life with God. (And many more revelations to come -- I'm counting on it!) And I'm less than four years in.
I love being a mom to Maia (my sweet 3-going-on-13 year old) and Eliana (my sweet soon-to-be-1 year old). I love that Maia picks up worms without batting an eye and will make up a song and sing it at the top of her lungs. I love that she asks a lot of questions and really listens to the answers. That she has the memory of an elephant and a keen interest in people. That in her opinion, red socks match with everything. I love that Eliana has started to say 'hi' this week, even to people she doesn't know. I love that she likes to give me high fives while nursing. I love that she chases her big sister around the kitchen now that she can crawl. And I confess I do love that she prefers her mommy over everyone else on the planet. At least for now.
The scriptures say that 'children are an inheritance' from God. Something I've never given a lot of consideration. But now that I have two such heavenly treasures, it's clear that the gift of these two is so far beyond anything else I 'have' that I value (well, except for my dear Tim). These girls have added to my joy beyond what I could have imagined. That joy makes up for all the labour, the stinky diapers, the short sleeps and the time outs... hands down.
(We'll soon have an updated family photo. Check back in a week or so!)
To all the mothers, I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day. May you know the full joy and also the depth of responsibility that has come to you with the title of 'mother'.
Today I am also thinking of all those who wish they could have been a mother or are still hoping to be. Though you may not have someone hanging off your hip -- or begging for keys or cash -- never doubt that you are as infinitely valuable as a daughter of God. Never doubt that you are vital in the lives of others.
And I'm also thinking of those who deeply miss the mom they once had. To those beautiful women, I wish you comfort and the gift of another treasured person with whom you can give and receive exchanges that are sweet and deep and create new memories.
And to everyone -- may you have the gift of knowing that you are treasured -- by your Creator and by others. And the even greater gift of loving and treasuring others in grace and in truth so that they know it deep down in their bones.
Now go call your mother.
