things i never ever thought i'd say

Increasingly, I've found myself uttering words to Maia that cause me to take a step back and say, "I can't believe I just said that." So just for fun, I recently began compiling a list of things I never thought I would have to say. But have.

Honey, I know you're excited about nursery school but it's really a good idea to put on clothes first before you put on your backpack.

No, we don't lick car doors. They're dirty.

Love, please don't hide my glasses or the remote control or your sister's socks while I'm having a nap.

I know you don't like sitting on the toilet, but it's after 4 pm and you still haven't peed yet today.

Hey, would you like to try this Pooh soup?
(C'mon, Winnie the Pooh soup was on sale. And I had just introduced her to Christopher Robin and friends.)

No, you may not call me Monica when daddy does. You may call me Mommy.

Sweetie, please don't lick the baby's head.